Tuesday, April 15, 2014

The Killing Machine

“The Killing Machine,” formerly known as “Icarus,” is yet another ultra-violent movie starring Dolph Lundgren, who also directed -- but he didn’t work on the screenplay this time around. Dolph has directed quite a few movies lately, of which “Command Performance” was an unusually successful D2DVD actioner.

The movies directed by the Big Swede himself always have one thing in common--they’re extremely violent! They can almost compete with Steven Seagal when it comes to gruesome splatter. More than one of Dolph’s latest movies ends with him blowing the head of the main bad guy off with a shotgun. The big difference is that Dolph is a sympathetic guy, while Seagal comes out as a sadist.

“The Killing Machine” is exceptionally violent. Dolph plays mild-mannered businessman Edward Genn, always sporting suits. He’s divorced from his wife, with whom he has a little daughter, he has a new girlfriend (but you can tell he still loves his former wife), and he’s quit smoking, something that doesn’t prevent him from putting a cigarette in his mouth every now and then -- but he never lights it.

However ... Mister Genn is leading a double life. Edward Genn isn’t his real name. He’s former KGB agent Icarus, and he still works as a hitman for the Russian mob to make money. He’s elegant, he’s professional, and he kills people. Dozens of people. Hundreds. Some are into scrapbooking; Edward Genn kills people.

Then one day it turns out there’s a contract on Edward, and loads of people try to take him out. They blow his girlfriend up! Something that really pisses Edward off. He tries to protect his former wife (her new boyfriend is killed) and their little daughter, but everybody they trust is dirty. So Edward simply has to kill everybody in sight. A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.


The Worlds Most EVIL art Part 1

Write a book or paint a painting, and who knows whether it'll still be around a few years later. But build a goddamned 100-ton bronze statue, and people will still be staring at that shit centuries from now. Which makes it all the more awesome when a sculptor creates a horrifying monument to his own insanity and gets it erected in city park or town square

El Mesteno
Denver Internation Airport (DIA), Colorado, United States
The Denver International Airport has something no other airport in the world has. Or, for that matter, wants. It's a statue of a horse called El Mesteno, and its demonic gaze is the very first thing greeting you when you step out of the airport building:

I'm assuming that if you look on the ground behind this fucker, you'll see that Satan has gotten thrown off his steed. The first time you lay eyes upon El Mesteno, you lose all doubt that Lucifer's mighty steed has broken lose of its hell-dimension paddock and is running amock in the world of mere mortals. This is no simple horse statue. El Mesteno has more furious personality in his left front hoof than any iconic statue of George Washington on his noble mount. This mustang looks angry, from his bulging veins and flared nostrils right down to his violent rearing pose. Hey, did I mention that it's 32 feet tall?

El Mesteno, or "oh shit run it's the giant zombie hell horse" as it is more affectionately known, is the gatekeeper between you and Denver, and the price for getting any further is your soul. Which it incidentally took the second it laid those eyes on you, so you now have nothing to bargain with.

I'm thinking the people in charge of erecting El Mesteno probably should've taken the hint that this creepy ass beast was bad news, cause it's kinda  hard to ignore the bad omens that came with El Mesteno's creation. Particulary the fact that a large portion of the heavy statue fell on the artist Jimenez while it was being moved, fatally crushing him. That's right: The zombie horse of DIA killed its own sculptor, making  El Mesteno  both Jimenez's largest and last work of art.

But what does the zombie horse of DIA mean? Is it in fact a symbol of power and strength, warding off any evil that would seek to enter Denver through its major transportation hub? Or is it something darker? Insert conspiracy theories about DIA here, which there are fricken heaps, but I'll get into those in a later post.

Sunday, March 16, 2014

Poison Idea

This year marks the 8 year anniversary since the passing of Tom "Pig Champion" Roberts, the corpulent and charismatic guitarist for hard-core heavyweights Poison Idea, and the monumental announcement that the reformed Band will be touring Australia for the first time in May. Poison Idea, Jerry A, Pig Champion and co contribution to hard-core cannot be underestimated. They helped to create and sustain the genre so that it remains today for future generations. So I thought I would put this article together pinched from various sources and my own brain to fill in a bit of a PI history of sorts.

Poison Idea was started in 1980 in Portland, Oregon, by vocalist Jerry A. (Lang). Within a year, the band had a solid line up with drummer Dean Johnson, guitarist Tom Roberts (aka Pig Champion from the band Imperialist Pigs), and bassist Glen Estes. Influenced by Germs and Black Flag, they took their musical cues from bands such as Discharge and SOA. Pushing the speed limits of contemporary punk rock, they played raw and angry hard-core the likes of which had rarely been heard before (or since).

Their 1983 debut EP, Pick Your King, was released. Its subsequent follow-up, Record Collectors are Pretentious Assholes (featuring Pig Champion's substantial collection on the cover), saw Chris "Tense" replacing Glen on bass. Both were put out on a small label from Eugene, Oregon called Fatal Erection.

In 1986, Poison Idea released the aptly titled Kings of Punk LP. By this time, the band's sound had changed from manic, breakneck thrash, to a more driving, Motörhead -influenced attack - losing none of their intensity, anger, or nihilism.

In the next few years, Poison Idea's line up (mainly the rhythm section) changed several times. By 1989, Poison Idea pulled it together; after trouble with record companies and distributors, they started their own label, American Leather (named after a Germs track), and began by reissuing their 1982 demo.

The band found their most stable line up in years: Jerry A., Pig Champion, Myrtle Tickner, and Thee Slayer Hippie and then added lead guitarist Eric "Vegetable" Olson, who wrote many PI tunes during his tenure in the band. The band then released War All the Time (named for the Charles Bukowski book) in 1987. War All the Time and the EPs that followed (the Getting the Fear 12" and the Filthkick 7") found them further developing the rock/hardcore sound first established on Kings of Punk, which they would hone in 1990 with Feel the Darkness. The classic Feel the Darkness successfully combining (where so, so many others had failed) the best elements of hard-core and hard rock for a dark, powerful sound. By this time, their drinking habits and hard living were beginning to catch up with them: the band weighed in at about 1,300 lb. collectively, and Pig Champion in particular was very fat, often having to play sitting down.

Poison Idea was one of those bands of unsung heroes that went virtually unnoticed while more successful bands took elements of their style and broke through to mainstream audiences. Poison Idea has been cited as an influence by bands and musicians such as Nirvana, Zeke, Turbonegro, Eyehategod, Pantera, Napalm Death, Machine Head, Emperor’s Bård Faust, Generation Graveyard and Ratos de Porão, but the closest that Poison Idea's music has come to respectable exposure was when Pantera covered "The Badge" for the soundtrack to "The Crow" in 1994.

Most people, who bought that soundtrack all those years ago, thought the song was great, but never did any research into where it came from.

I was at a party when I first heard the track, I remember how spun out I was when I heard the badge on the stereo. It sounded good but not quite right, I said something to someone like- “Hey that’s a Poison Idea song, who‘s playing it”. And after the obligatory who the fuck is Poison idea I got – “its Pantera man”. I had discovered Feel the Darkness a few years earlier in the "Punk" section of my local record store and it still spins regularly

Punknews.org sums up why you should own this record perfectly:

With this album, Poison Idea have mixed in the perfect amounts of thrash metal, punk, hard-core and Motörhead-style rock and roll, and the result is a terrific hard-core masterpiece that balances circle pit volatility with catchy rock and roll grooves and seriousness with sarcasm, resulting in an often copied, rarely duplicated hybrid sound that is purely their own. Feel the Darkness is an album that you will come back to after listening to boring and unoriginal albums, and an album that you will use as a comparison standard for other releases of the same genre.
"Plastic Bomb," the album's opening track, starts off with a brief, sinister-sounding piano intro before the guitar, drums and bass come crashing in all at once like a coordinated military strike. The track only picks up speed from there, as thundering drums and a fast, thrash riff provide the cover for Jerry A's grunted vocals and a catchy Bad Religion-like chorus of "whoa-oh-ohs." This is one of the catchiest songs on the album, and you'll be humming it long after you've turned the record off.
The improperly named "Deep Sleep" kicks in next, for it's nearly impossible to sleep through the maelstrom of shredding guitars and an impressive virtuoso solo courtesy of Pig Champion, the fattest guitarist to ever play punk rock.
The third song, "The Badge," is considered by many to be a quintessential Poison Idea song. Hundreds of punk bands have written songs about how much they hate the police, but Poison Idea's vicious, derisive tirade against officers of the law draws deeply from their own uniquely intelligent well of potent, sarcastic cynicism and is arranged perfectly on top of an equally vicious riff. It's not surprising that Pantera chose this song to cover.
The fourth track, "Just to Get Away," is pure, unadulterated rock and roll, the irreverent, scurrilous kind that parents were once threatened by, the kind that Lemmy and Iggy Pop would approve of. A true anthem of unapologetic hedonism, this song has it all -- quitting your job and telling your boss to shove it, hopping into a fast car with your girlfriend and speeding off to a brighter horizon with your middle finger in the air. Even the uber-serious punk rock types who think it sounds corny will be tapping their toes, playing air drums and nodding their head along with the music.
I could write a paragraph for every track on this album that I like, but I'm trying to keep this less than ten pages long, so I'll just hit some highlights.
"Gone for Good" is full-on thrash with Jerry's rapid-fire raps on the dangers of environmental destruction in the name of corporate greed, while
"Alan's on Fire" (often covered by Machine Head in concert) blends cryptic lyrics of a more personal nature within a churning hurricane of musical heaviness.
The prescient "Nation of Finks" could have been written yesterday about our current Zeitgeist of fear, suspicion and "surveillance of the fittest." I'll leave the rest for you to enjoy.

When Pig Champion left the band in 1993, and PI effectively called it quits. however just over five years later, Jerry A reformed the band in late 1999 with the lineup featuring Tom "Pig Champion" Roberts (guitar), Matt Brainard (guitar), Chris Carey (bass) and Chris Cuthbert (drums), breaking in the new lineup the band toured the east coast in 2002 including an appearance at CBGB's.

On January 31, 2006 guitarist Tom "Pig Champion" Roberts died aged 47 at his home in Portland of undetermined causes, although he had been suffering from the flu and an untreated kidney infection. The band had recorded the new record and it was ready for release when he died. Pig wanted the record to be called Latest Will and Testament, a name that the rest of the band liked. After Tom’s death Jerry commented that Pig probably knew something that the rest of them didn’t the album was released in May 2006 on Farewell Records. The band did not play a record release show, or any show for over a year as they tried to get used to the idea that their friend was gone.

The band distributed a video announcement in early October, 2013 announcing now new line up and 2014 world tour with new bassist Natalie Lucio and Eric "Vegetable" Olson rejoining the band on guitar after an almost 25 year absence, best known for his work on the War All the Time album. Now they’re coming to Australia, the band led by original front man Jerry A and featuring a number of other members from throughout the band’s past. I thought I’d never get to see the mighty Poison Idea live in concert,. But they will finally grace Australian shores this May with a four date tour. Cities set to cop a show include Adelaide on May 14th at Enigma Bar, Brisbane’s Crowbar on May 15th, the Bald Faced Stag in Sydney on Friday 16th May and the Bendigo Hotel in Collingwood on Saturday 17th May.

So that’s it, I got my tickets and will be seeing PI in Brisbane at the Crowbar on the 15th of May and then to Melbourne on the 17th to see them play the Bendigo Hotel. If you are interested keep an eye on the Face Face event page

You can get Tickets for Brisbane, Sydney and Melbourne are from here and Adelaide here.

Poison Idea - Mating Walruses (1982 - 1989) 52 min.

It’s a shame that Poison Idea’s Mating Walruses VHS tends to go under a lot of people’s radar. Released in 1990, this is a damn solid document of their existence from 82-89, arguably their golden years, and shortly before they’d start cracking under the pressures of drug abuse and morbid obesity

What you get here is pretty meat and potatoes Poison Idea. You can catch a glimpse of what it was like when they still ripped up the stage. Some of their best tracks are present, with assorted riot footage and fat guy tomfoolery edited throughout. I don’t know why watching Pig Champion hang out in a diner is so enjoyable, but it is.


1982 :
Think Twice - Spy
1983 :
Cult Band - Last One
April 1983 :
Jailhouse Rock - Police Brewtality N.Y. State
1988 :
Hangover Heart Attack - The Temple - Short Fuse - Laughing Boy - Typical - My Dinner With - Poison Idea - Lifestyles - Thorn In My Side - Push The Button - AA - Getting The Fear - Made To Be Broken - Motorhead
1989 :
We Got The Beat

POISON IDEA Santa Ana, CA. 4 January 2014

The OBSCENE Quintessential Cock Rock guide to Big Hair Glam Metal bands!!

Before grunge scrubbed the smeared makeup off of the face of hair metal and trimmed its flowing locks, an endless parade of longhaired dudes did their level best to destroy the ozone layer, fuelled by a steady diet of sex, drugs and rock and roll. Oh, and, well, depending on the band, more sex and lots more drugs. Lots more. During the Reagan era, glam metal reigned supreme with these bands ferociously whipping their hair. Keep reading for my rundown of the fifteen (in no particular order) bands that I think capture the true cockiness of the hair metal phenomena.


The band first came into the national spotlight with their Double Platinum debut album Dirty Rotten Filthy Stinking Rich, and one of its singles, "Heaven," reached No. 1 in Rolling Stone and No. 2 on the Billboard Hot 100. The band continued its success in the early 1990s And it would be remiss not to mention the strip club staple "Cherry Pie," even though it is a song much loathed by the band as a last minute recording on the album to snag a hit single with the Double Platinum album, it provided the hit album titled song and music video. Although this act summoned an ocean of lighters to illuminate arenas everywhere with ballads like "Heaven" and "Sometimes She Cries," Warrant's late front man Jani Lane still wrote songs like "Uncle Tom's Cabin" that were more serious than your average glam tune.


Poison achieved great commercial success in the mid-1980s to the mid-1990s and has sold over 45 million records worldwide. The band has also charted ten singles to the Top 40 of the Billboard Hot 100, including six Top 10 singles and the Hot 100 number-one, "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". The band became icons of the 1980s MTV era and had widespread commercial success. The band's breakthrough debut album, the multi-platinum Look What the Cat Dragged In, was released in 1986 and they hit their peak with the second album, Open Up and Say... Ahh!, With songs like "Un skinny Bop," Poison's songwriting wasn't always in front of the makeup and hairspray, but the band nonetheless earned fame well beyond the Sunset Strip with a simplistic, sexed up pop metal sound. Bret Michaels was one of those front men with a vocal range that turned your ears inside out but he still chalked up huge radio and MTV hits like "Nothin' but a Good Time," "Talk Dirty to Me" and "Every Rose Has Its Thorn."


From Clifton Heights, Pennsylvania Cinderella's glam metal fairytale got its start in Philly a world away from the Sunset Strip. The band emerged in the mid-1980s with a series of multi-platinum albums and hit singles whose music videos received heavy MTV rotation Breaking through the thousand-strong army of already waging hair metal bands with Night Songs in 1986,. They were famous for being a glam metal band, but then shifted over towards a more hard rock/blues-rock sound. By the mid-1990s, the band's popularity declined severely due to personal setbacks, break-ups, and changes in the music industry Cinderella squashed its predecessors with edgier banshee vocals and powerful harmonies that led to a succession of hit singles. Despite its terrifyingly hackneyed hair band appearance, Cinderella was a step above other bands from that era musically.

Twisted Sister

An American band from Long Island, New York, Twister Sister Stake claim to the fact that it created two of the loudest and most sacred hair metal anthems of the '80s that kids shook their fists to in "We're Not Gonna Take It" and "I Wanna Rock." Many of the band's songs explore themes of parent vs. child conflicts and criticisms of the educational system Twisted Sister had a loud, large and rebellious sound symbolized by Dee Snider's massive curly blonde locks and his teeth biting sneer, making Twisted Sister seem wilder than the other pretty boy glam metal bands. While the band members' famously cross-dressed appearance might seem to link them with the 1980s glam metal movement, Twisted Sister's aggressive musical style was coupled with a more grotesque use of makeup and women's clothing resulting in a product quite distinct from the more hedonistic androgyny of glam metal groups

L.A. Guns

L.A. Guns is an American hard rock band from Los Angeles, California, formed in 1983. The first incarnation of the group was formed by Tracii Guns in 1983, but disbanded in 1985 following its merger with fellow Los Angeles group Hollywood Rose with Axl Rose, becoming the first lineup of Guns N' Roses. The same year, the group was reformed by Guns and singer Paul Black .That group broke through when it released its self-titled debut in 1988, and especially with its follow-up, Cocked & Loaded, containing "The Ballad of Jayne," which locked in a flock of hardcore fans.

Quiet Riot

Quiet Riot was one of the original forces in this genre with two mega hits, "Cum on Feel the Noize" and "Bang Your Head (Metal Health. The band was founded in 1973 by guitarist Randy Rhoads and bassist Kelly Garni under the original name Mach 1, before changing the name to Little Women and finally Quiet Riot in May 1975. The band's name was inspired by a conversation with Rick Parfitt of the British band Status Quo, in which Parfitt said he'd like to name a band "Quite Right",[1] and his thick English accent made it sound like he was saying "Quiet Riot". Even though Randy Rhoads was the original guitarist before leaving to work with Ozzy in 1979, Quiet Riot still gained the bragging rights of the first U.S. debut metal album, Metal Health, to reach numero uno on the charts in 1983.


Dokken was first formed around 1976 when Don Dokken teamed up with Greg Pecka (drums) and Steven R. Barry (bass). Prior to this Don had been playing club shows in the Los Angeles area billed as "Airborne", but had to change the band name to Dokken because another band with the same name had already acquired a record deal. Dokken made a name for itself with its vibrato-laden, high-note reaching, namesake front man, whose voice could soar high with the best killer pipe wailers in glam. Partnered with George Lynch, arguably one of the top axe men of the era with impressive sharp, clean solos, Dokken is one of the more underrated hair metal bands.

Bon Jovi

Formed in 1983, Once the band began playing showcases and opening for local talent, they caught the attention of record executive Derek Shulman, who signed them to Mercury Records. A friend suggested they call themselves Bon Jovi, following the example of the other famous two-word bands such as Van Halen. This name was chosen instead of the original idea of Johnny Electric. Despite its tepid sound and the fact that it embraced every rock clichÈ in the book, Bon Jovi earned a massive following and churned out a seemingly never ending string of hits starting with "Runaway" in 1984. These stadium rockers are lucky they haven't gone blind with all the girls that have flashed their boobs over the years. Global superstardom came after the release of Slippery When Wet in 1986. Even though Jon Bon Jovi is widely regarded as big of a douchebag as Bono, he had one of the better set of pipes during the hair band era.


The band City Kidd was renamed Tesla during the recording of their first album, 1986's Mechanical Resonance, on the advice of their manager that City Kidd was not a great name (in addition, there was already another band going by that name).Rock and roll outweighed the glam in Tesla with its members donning T-shirts and jeans. The act also boasted two underrated guitarist during a time when musicianship wasn't always in the limelight, and hair, makeup and tight pants were. Apart from producing the classic '80s power ballad "Love Song," most of Tesla's lyrics strayed from popular rock themes, and instead of fluffing up the element of glam when breaking mainstream, they took a step back into a more classic rock sound.


W.A.S.P. is an American heavy metal band formed in 1982. They emerged from the same Los Angeles scene that spawned Van Halen, Mötley Crüe, Ratt, Quiet Riot, Guns N' Roses and others. The band's popularity peaked in the 1980s, yet they continue to record and tour, making them one of the most enduring of the West Coast heavy metal bands. W.A.S.P. gained notoriety for their shock rock themed image, lyrics and live performances. Compared to other hair metal bands of the '80s, with its much darker sound and raunchy, shocking live shows, W.A.S.P. fits better in the "fuck you!" category than the glam category. "Fuck" was a word that was often implied in glam metal, but W.A.S.P. put it in a song title, "Animal (Fuck Like a Beast)," which grabbed the attention of anal politicians and played into their censorship agenda. Instead of looking back on W.A.S.P. as a fucked up band, the world should look back on them as an original contributor to the '80s metal sound.

Skid Row

Skid Row was formed in Toms River, New Jersey, in late 1986 by bassist Rachel Bolan and guitarist Dave "The Snake" Sabo and Fronted by Sebastian Bach with vocals that shatter glass and make ears bleed. They story goes that Jon Bon Jovi had been put in a position to seek out new and upcoming talent. He had set up a publishing company called the Underground Music Company. The band secured a record deal with Atlantic Records in 1988 & signed a publishing deal with the Underground Music Company. Skid Row signed over a shitload of the publishing rights to Bon Jovi, which later became an issue as the band became more successful. In time Sambora agreed to give the band back his percentage of their publishing. Skid Row made a lasting impression with a heavier hair metal aggression, fusing thrashy guitar with a whole bunch of pop. The band's self-titled debut and Slave to the Grind are two major albums in the time capsule of glam.


Ratt has been recognized as instrumental in the formation of the early 1980s Los Angeles glam metal scene was one of the first glam metal bands on Sunset Strip to help shape its sound in the early '80s., promoting what's known as the 'Sunset Strip' sound of pop hooks infused into an aggressive metal ethos along with groups such as friendly rivals Mötley Crüe. With ripping singles like "Round and Round" and "Lay It Down," which featured the blazing fretwork of Warren DeMartini, RATT chewed up the other bubblegum groups of the time and then spit them out, displaying notably superior musicianship cloaked in a more leathery hard rock skin.

Motley Crue

Mötley Crüe formed in Los Angeles, California, in 1981. The group was founded by bass guitarist Nikki Sixx and drummer Tommy Lee, who were later joined by lead guitarist Mick Mars and lead singer Vince Neil. Mötley Crüe has been described through the years as the world's most notorious rock band and one of the world's best-selling groups of all time, having sold more than 75 million albums worldwide. The members of the band have often been noted for their hedonistic lifestyles and the persona they maintained. They have had numerous brushes with the law, spent time in prison, suffered from alcoholism, suffered from long addictions to drugs such as cocaine and heroin, had countless escapades with women and are heavily tattooed. On stage, Motley Crue was the wildest and craziest band of all, reaching new levels of rock star overindulgence. Unlike most bass players who blend in with the background, Nikki Sixx was a major player in the songwriting process, producing a hefty catalog of catchy tunes like "Kickstart My Heart" and "Shout at the Devil." As one of the pioneers of glam metal, Crue helped shape the sound of this larger-than-life subgenre as early as 1981 with Too Fast for Love.

Guns N' Roses

Guns N' Roses was formed in March 1985 by singer Axl Rose and rhythm guitarist Izzy Stradlin of Hollywood Rose, along with lead guitarist Tracii Guns, bassist Ole Beich, and drummer Rob Gardner of L.A. Guns. The band coined its name by combining the names of both previous groups. After only a short time, during which they reportedly played just two or three shows, Beich was replaced by Duff McKagan, while Guns' lack of attendance at rehearsals led to his replacement by Slash. Gardner quit soon after and was replaced by Steven Adler. Stradlin had previously played with Slash in Hollywood Rose, while Slash had played with McKagan and Adler in Road Crew. More glam in their early days on the Sunset Strip than on studio albums, with the amazing one-two punch combination of Slash's serious shredding and Axl's vigorously vicious vocals, Guns N' Roses, without a doubt, outmatched all other hair metal contenders. Not only did they kick the shit out of hair metal, they were a major force in general, leaving an infinitely indelible impression with the tour de force that is Appetite for Destruction -- one of the greatest rock albums of all time.

Hanoi Rocks

Hanoi Rocks was a Finnish hard rock band formed in 1979, whose most successful period came in the early 1980s. The band broke up in 1985 after their drummer Nicholas "Razzle" Dingley died in a car accident with Vince Neil at the wheel a year earlier. Crawling out in the wee early hours of the '80s, Hanoi Rocks caffeinated other early acts like Motley Crue, making sure glam dressed itself properly with gender-bending flamboyance and brought an edgy attitude to hand down to its glam band beneficiaries. Although Hanoi Rocks never accomplished commercial success, the band did create a strong cult following. Unfortunately the ride ended early when its drummer Razzle died.

Wednesday, January 15, 2014


Octaman is kind of a tricky movie to review. That’s because the movie is in all honesty quite bad. The dialogue and the actors are both wooden, the lighting is pretty poor at times, the film stock changes throughout, some of the direction is weird, and the pacing is all over the map. Yet there’s still something I find undeniably entertaining about it, at least whenever the monster is center stage. When Octaman is on the screen doing his thing all is right with the b-movie world.

 You want to talk about a monster movie where the monster is truly the star? 1971’s Octaman is the textbook definition of such a film. Without the awesome Octaman suit design, the joy of seeing it slap scientists and ranchers around and strangle them with its tentacles, ambushing them from inside their motor home (how it successfully manipulated the door handles with those tentacles is anyone’s guess), picking a woman up in its tentacle arms and carrying her off to do Godzilla knows what, watching folks try to wrangle the Octaman with flashlights and a ring of fire, without all that cheesy monster movie goodness this movie would be rightfully forgotten today.

Octaman was directed by Harry Essex. It follows an expedition team that becomes the target of a murderous humanoid octopus. A scientific expedition to a remote Mexican fishing community, led by Dr. Rick Torres (Kerwin Mathews) and Susan Lowry (Pier Angeli) discovers unhealthy amounts of radiation in the local waters. They find a small mutant octopus that can crawl on land, so to receive further funding for their project, Torres travels back to the States to make a deal with a circus owner, who is interested in the bizarre mutation as a carny act. They return to the camp to discover that their crew has been slaughtered and the octopus specimen is missing. A young man from the village says that a local legend about a creature said to be half man and half sea serpent is true, and offers to take the scientists to the lake where it is purported to live. There, a seven foot tall bloodthirsty humanoid octopus with amazing strength and a lust for killing is discovered, but it escapes. At night, the octopus-man arrives and the crew attempts to trap it in a ring of fire. By the next day, the octopus-man is still alive and has killed several people, so the survivors encounter the octopus-man and shoot it to death.

Directed by Harry Essex Produced byMichael Kraike & Harry Essex

Starring Pier Angeli, Kerwin Mathews, Jeff Morrow, Read Morgan.

Cinematography Robert Caramico

Running time 76 min  Country United States  Language English Year 1971 Budget $250,000

Friday, November 18, 2011

Dolph Lundgren - Ultimate human?

Lets get this straight right from the start, I think Dolph is great. Not in an ironic way, but  in a purely I think this dude rocks kinda way.

Don't believe me, fine, but before you you discard  this a ranting of a lunatic let me explain why.

Eons ago, in a time before man, before dinosaurs, before god there was Dolph Lundgren. Since the dawn of time Dolph has walked among humans and protected us from great evils. when giant  aliens invaded earth in 542 B.C. it was Dolph who turned their own weapons against them and drove them away. Dolph Lundgren is not super-human as he is actually not human. Dolph is the personification of pure masculinity. if Dolph Lundgren were a sound, he'd sound like Metal.

Okay that bit is a little bit bullshit However I really do believe that Dolph is a truly remarkable individual and here are the real reason why,

First of all we all know Dolph Lundgren is a Swedish actor. He belongs to a generation of film actors who epitomise the movie action hero stereotype including Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Steven Seagal and Jean-Claude Van Damme.
His  breakthrough came when he starred in Rocky IV in 1985 as the imposing Russian boxer Ivan Drago. Since then, he has starred in more than 40 movies, almost all of them in the action film genre. He has  portrayed He-Man in the 1987 film Masters of the Universe, and Frank Castle in the 1989 film The Punisher. In the early 1990s, he also appeared in films such as Showdown in Little Tokyo (1991), alongside Brandon Lee; Universal Soldier (1992), opposite Jean-Claude Van Damme; Joshua Tree (1993), opposite Kristian Alfonso and George Segal; Johnny Mnemonic (1995), opposite Keanu Reeves and Ice-T; and Blackjack (1998), directed by John Woo.

We also know that after a long spell performing in direct-to-video films, 2010 marked his return to theatres with The Expendables, an on-screen reunion with Sylvester Stallone, alongside an all-action star cast which included, among others, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Stone Cold Steve Austin, and Mickey Rourke.

But did you know that Dolph  holds a rank of 3rd dan black belt in Kyokushin Karate and was European champion in 1980 and 1981, and Australian Heavy Weight Karate champion in 1983. Dolph is also well known for his tall stature and A1 level of fitness, at peak, he stands around 195 centimeters and weighes110 kg, and continues to be an influence in the world of fitness and bodybuilding.

How about that he is a director, producer and screen writer and that  in 2004, Dolph directed his first picture, The Defender, and subsequently helmed The Mechanik (2005), Missionary Man (2007), Command Performance (2009), and Icarus- the Killing Machine (2010), in which he also starred.

And if this is not  enough,  did you know that Dolph  In 1982, graduated with a master's degree in chemical engineering from the University of
Stephen Hawking
Bill Gates
Albert Einstein
Sydney, finishing with the highest results in his class, in fact our Dolph's reported IQ is 160 and actually has the exact IQ as Albert Einstein, Stephen Hawkins and Bill Gates. He also Plays the drums, Speaks three languages: Swedish, English and some German. Said to speak Japanese as well, . Also speaks some Spanish as well as personally Maintaining his own personal website for his fans.

So there you have it Dolph Lundgren thespian, Dolph Lundgren Super Athlete, Dolph Lundgren Academic   Dolph Lundgren Ultimate human so Bow before the feet of mighty Dolph Lundgren, though he wouldn't ask you to cause he's really a pretty nice guy.  BOW!