Jerry A bloody and sweaty in Brisbane - Australian Tour 15th May 2014 - The Crowbar, Brunswick St. Fortitude Valley, Brisbane, Queensland Australia

  

Neck Romancing, Swamplanding and the ARTS of Ben.

Benjamin Paskins comes from a Graphic Design background. Likes to illustrate colourful explosions of weird shit. Makes up bands and draws them in  watercolour awesomeness.

Hollerin' from the Sunshine Coast, He makes art to sell, including  bringing you a wide array of colourful stickers, prints, original paintings and illustrations and pretty much anything you can print on.

Ben is  also co-owner of the Sunshine Coast institution The Time Machine and is responsible for the Zine SWAMPLANDS. Its a cool little publication that aims to embrace creative Australian small business. Music/art/fun times.

Here is a little bit of what Ben has said about the Zine.

 

Swamplands Issue one







Issue one of Swamplands hot off the press



A little while back I applied for a Small Creative Government grant, not thinking I was going to get it, just for practise really. It was to fund the printing for a zine (a small independent publication) for promoting creativity, embracing D.I.Y culture and whole-heartedly supporting Australian Independents. Funnily enough, we actually got the funding for it. Which is great! Except now I have made... more work for myself and now have to put it together". 

The first issue was  primarily focussed on his little town, Nambour, and its inhabitants. Its primary focus was to lift the terrible stigma and reputation Nambour has, whilst networking the Independent businesses to try and work together and you know, be nice to one  another.

"the main aim was  to bridge the gap between other suburbs on The Sunshine Coast, to try and work together to get a whole bunch of things to do organizsed 'round here parts. It will also have profiles on a bunch of bands/artists and articles on varying topics to make it a bloody good read, eh? Also to show people the potential Nambour has at being the Arts/Music Hub of the Sunshine Coast".

To find out more about Swampland here

Artwork illustration and other oddities. Benjamin Paskins

Neck Romancer.: SHURTS.: benpaskins@hotmail.com



Shirt Designs contact ben directly for custom orders



 

A selection of weird from Ben



The Time Machine

Quintessential guide to 80's Big Hair Glam Metal bands!!

The OBSCENE Quintessential Cock Rock guide to Big Hair Glam Metal bands!!

Before grunge scrubbed the smeared makeup off of the face of hair metal and trimmed its flowing locks, an endless parade of longhaired dudes did their level best to destroy the ozone layer, fuelled by a steady diet of sex, drugs and rock and roll. Oh, and, well, depending on the band, more sex and lots more drugs. Lots more. During the Reagan era, glam metal reigned supreme with these bands ferociously whipping their hair. Keep reading for my rundown of the fifteen (in no particular order) bands that I think capture the true cockiness of the hair metal phenomena.

Warrant

The band first came into the national spotlight with their Double Platinum debut album Dirty Rotten Filthy Stinking Rich, and one of its singles, "Heaven," reached No. 1 in Rolling Stone and No. 2 on the Billboard Hot 100. The band continued its success in the early 1990s And it would be remiss not to mention the strip club staple "Cherry Pie," even though it is a song much loathed by the band as a last minute recording on the album to snag a hit single with the Double Platinum album, it provided the hit album titled song and music video. Although this act summoned an ocean of lighters to illuminate arenas everywhere with ballads like "Heaven" and "Sometimes She Cries," Warrant's late front man Jani Lane still wrote songs like "Uncle Tom's Cabin" that were more serious than your average glam tune.

Poison

Poison achieved great commercial success in the mid-1980s to the mid-1990s and has sold over 45 million records worldwide. The band has also charted ten singles to the Top 40 of the Billboard Hot 100, including six Top 10 singles and the Hot 100 number-one, "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". The band became icons of the 1980s MTV era and had widespread commercial success. The band's breakthrough debut album, the multi-platinum Look What the Cat Dragged In, was released in 1986 and they hit their peak with the second album, Open Up and Say... Ahh!, With songs like "Un skinny Bop," Poison's songwriting wasn't always in front of the makeup and hairspray, but the band nonetheless earned fame well beyond the Sunset Strip with a simplistic, sexed up pop metal sound. Bret Michaels was one of those front men with a vocal range that turned your ears inside out but he still chalked up huge radio and MTV hits like "Nothin' but a Good Time," "Talk Dirty to Me" and "Every Rose Has Its Thorn."

Cinderella

From Clifton Heights, Pennsylvania Cinderella's glam metal fairytale got its start in Philly a world away from the Sunset Strip. The band emerged in the mid-1980s with a series of multi-platinum albums and hit singles whose music videos received heavy MTV rotation Breaking through the thousand-strong army of already waging hair metal bands with Night Songs in 1986,. They were famous for being a glam metal band, but then shifted over towards a more hard rock/blues-rock sound. By the mid-1990s, the band's popularity declined severely due to personal setbacks, break-ups, and changes in the music industry Cinderella squashed its predecessors with edgier banshee vocals and powerful harmonies that led to a succession of hit singles. Despite its terrifyingly hackneyed hair band appearance, Cinderella was a step above other bands from that era musically.

Twisted Sister

An American band from Long Island, New York, Twister Sister Stake claim to the fact that it created two of the loudest and most sacred hair metal anthems of the '80s that kids shook their fists to in "We're Not Gonna Take It" and "I Wanna Rock." Many of the band's songs explore themes of parent vs. child conflicts and criticisms of the educational system Twisted Sister had a loud, large and rebellious sound symbolized by Dee Snider's massive curly blonde locks and his teeth biting sneer, making Twisted Sister seem wilder than the other pretty boy glam metal bands. While the band members' famously cross-dressed appearance might seem to link them with the 1980s glam metal movement, Twisted Sister's aggressive musical style was coupled with a more grotesque use of makeup and women's clothing resulting in a product quite distinct from the more hedonistic androgyny of glam metal groups

L.A. Guns

L.A. Guns is an American hard rock band from Los Angeles, California, formed in 1983. The first incarnation of the group was formed by Tracii Guns in 1983, but disbanded in 1985 following its merger with fellow Los Angeles group Hollywood Rose with Axl Rose, becoming the first lineup of Guns N' Roses. The same year, the group was reformed by Guns and singer Paul Black .That group broke through when it released its self-titled debut in 1988, and especially with its follow-up, Cocked & Loaded, containing "The Ballad of Jayne," which locked in a flock of hardcore fans.

Quiet Riot

Quiet Riot was one of the original forces in this genre with two mega hits, "Cum on Feel the Noize" and "Bang Your Head (Metal Health. The band was founded in 1973 by guitarist Randy Rhoads and bassist Kelly Garni under the original name Mach 1, before changing the name to Little Women and finally Quiet Riot in May 1975. The band's name was inspired by a conversation with Rick Parfitt of the British band Status Quo, in which Parfitt said he'd like to name a band "Quite Right",[1] and his thick English accent made it sound like he was saying "Quiet Riot". Even though Randy Rhoads was the original guitarist before leaving to work with Ozzy in 1979, Quiet Riot still gained the bragging rights of the first U.S. debut metal album, Metal Health, to reach numero uno on the charts in 1983.

Dokken

Dokken was first formed around 1976 when Don Dokken teamed up with Greg Pecka (drums) and Steven R. Barry (bass). Prior to this Don had been playing club shows in the Los Angeles area billed as "Airborne", but had to change the band name to Dokken because another band with the same name had already acquired a record deal. Dokken made a name for itself with its vibrato-laden, high-note reaching, namesake front man, whose voice could soar high with the best killer pipe wailers in glam. Partnered with George Lynch, arguably one of the top axe men of the era with impressive sharp, clean solos, Dokken is one of the more underrated hair metal bands.

Bon Jovi

Formed in 1983, Once the band began playing showcases and opening for local talent, they caught the attention of record executive Derek Shulman, who signed them to Mercury Records. A friend suggested they call themselves Bon Jovi, following the example of the other famous two-word bands such as Van Halen. This name was chosen instead of the original idea of Johnny Electric. Despite its tepid sound and the fact that it embraced every rock clichÈ in the book, Bon Jovi earned a massive following and churned out a seemingly never ending string of hits starting with "Runaway" in 1984. These stadium rockers are lucky they haven't gone blind with all the girls that have flashed their boobs over the years. Global superstardom came after the release of Slippery When Wet in 1986. Even though Jon Bon Jovi is widely regarded as big of a douchebag as Bono, he had one of the better set of pipes during the hair band era.

Tesla

The band City Kidd was renamed Tesla during the recording of their first album, 1986's Mechanical Resonance, on the advice of their manager that City Kidd was not a great name (in addition, there was already another band going by that name).Rock and roll outweighed the glam in Tesla with its members donning T-shirts and jeans. The act also boasted two underrated guitarist during a time when musicianship wasn't always in the limelight, and hair, makeup and tight pants were. Apart from producing the classic '80s power ballad "Love Song," most of Tesla's lyrics strayed from popular rock themes, and instead of fluffing up the element of glam when breaking mainstream, they took a step back into a more classic rock sound.

W.A.S.P.

W.A.S.P. is an American heavy metal band formed in 1982. They emerged from the same Los Angeles scene that spawned Van Halen, Mötley Crüe, Ratt, Quiet Riot, Guns N' Roses and others. The band's popularity peaked in the 1980s, yet they continue to record and tour, making them one of the most enduring of the West Coast heavy metal bands. W.A.S.P. gained notoriety for their shock rock themed image, lyrics and live performances. Compared to other hair metal bands of the '80s, with its much darker sound and raunchy, shocking live shows, W.A.S.P. fits better in the "fuck you!" category than the glam category. "Fuck" was a word that was often implied in glam metal, but W.A.S.P. put it in a song title, "Animal (Fuck Like a Beast)," which grabbed the attention of anal politicians and played into their censorship agenda. Instead of looking back on W.A.S.P. as a fucked up band, the world should look back on them as an original contributor to the '80s metal sound.

Skid Row

Skid Row was formed in Toms River, New Jersey, in late 1986 by bassist Rachel Bolan and guitarist Dave "The Snake" Sabo and Fronted by Sebastian Bach with vocals that shatter glass and make ears bleed. They story goes that Jon Bon Jovi had been put in a position to seek out new and upcoming talent. He had set up a publishing company called the Underground Music Company. The band secured a record deal with Atlantic Records in 1988 & signed a publishing deal with the Underground Music Company. Skid Row signed over a shitload of the publishing rights to Bon Jovi, which later became an issue as the band became more successful. In time Sambora agreed to give the band back his percentage of their publishing. Skid Row made a lasting impression with a heavier hair metal aggression, fusing thrashy guitar with a whole bunch of pop. The band's self-titled debut and Slave to the Grind are two major albums in the time capsule of glam.

RATT

Ratt has been recognized as instrumental in the formation of the early 1980s Los Angeles glam metal scene was one of the first glam metal bands on Sunset Strip to help shape its sound in the early '80s., promoting what's known as the 'Sunset Strip' sound of pop hooks infused into an aggressive metal ethos along with groups such as friendly rivals Mötley Crüe. With ripping singles like "Round and Round" and "Lay It Down," which featured the blazing fretwork of Warren DeMartini, RATT chewed up the other bubblegum groups of the time and then spit them out, displaying notably superior musicianship cloaked in a more leathery hard rock skin.

Motley Crue

Mötley Crüe formed in Los Angeles, California, in 1981. The group was founded by bass guitarist Nikki Sixx and drummer Tommy Lee, who were later joined by lead guitarist Mick Mars and lead singer Vince Neil. Mötley Crüe has been described through the years as the world's most notorious rock band and one of the world's best-selling groups of all time, having sold more than 75 million albums worldwide. The members of the band have often been noted for their hedonistic lifestyles and the persona they maintained. They have had numerous brushes with the law, spent time in prison, suffered from alcoholism, suffered from long addictions to drugs such as cocaine and heroin, had countless escapades with women and are heavily tattooed. On stage, Motley Crue was the wildest and craziest band of all, reaching new levels of rock star overindulgence. Unlike most bass players who blend in with the background, Nikki Sixx was a major player in the songwriting process, producing a hefty catalog of catchy tunes like "Kickstart My Heart" and "Shout at the Devil." As one of the pioneers of glam metal, Crue helped shape the sound of this larger-than-life subgenre as early as 1981 with Too Fast for Love.

Guns N' Roses

Guns N' Roses was formed in March 1985 by singer Axl Rose and rhythm guitarist Izzy Stradlin of Hollywood Rose, along with lead guitarist Tracii Guns, bassist Ole Beich, and drummer Rob Gardner of L.A. Guns. The band coined its name by combining the names of both previous groups. After only a short time, during which they reportedly played just two or three shows, Beich was replaced by Duff McKagan, while Guns' lack of attendance at rehearsals led to his replacement by Slash. Gardner quit soon after and was replaced by Steven Adler. Stradlin had previously played with Slash in Hollywood Rose, while Slash had played with McKagan and Adler in Road Crew. More glam in their early days on the Sunset Strip than on studio albums, with the amazing one-two punch combination of Slash's serious shredding and Axl's vigorously vicious vocals, Guns N' Roses, without a doubt, outmatched all other hair metal contenders. Not only did they kick the shit out of hair metal, they were a major force in general, leaving an infinitely indelible impression with the tour de force that is Appetite for Destruction -- one of the greatest rock albums of all time.

Hanoi Rocks

Hanoi Rocks was a Finnish hard rock band formed in 1979, whose most successful period came in the early 1980s. The band broke up in 1985 after their drummer Nicholas "Razzle" Dingley died in a car accident with Vince Neil at the wheel a year earlier. Crawling out in the wee early hours of the '80s, Hanoi Rocks caffeinated other early acts like Motley Crue, making sure glam dressed itself properly with gender-bending flamboyance and brought an edgy attitude to hand down to its glam band beneficiaries. Although Hanoi Rocks never accomplished commercial success, the band did create a strong cult following. Unfortunately the ride ended early when its drummer Razzle died.

Rock N Roll Nightmare

Have you ever come across something so head scathingly bizarre, you just can help wanting more; this is the kinda of experience I relish. I love setting out to find as much info as I can on my new discovery. Uncovering titbits on the internet or at the library, discovering a whole new world that has been hiding away and only known by a select few. 

My most recent said experience was the discovery of Jon Mikl Thor, JMT is a bodybuilding champion, actor, songwriter, screenwriter, historian, 80’s big hair cock metal musician and. vocalist. But more on that later.

It was purely by accident I stumbled across a record at my local vinyl store Backbeat Records, Recruits (Wild in the streets) is the third album by Canadian heavy metal band Thor. It is also the soundtrack for the 1986 film Recruits. Flipping over the record to look a the back I was instantly sold, big hair, medieval props and a girl band member named Pantera. All for the princely some of $7, Hilarious.

So I grabbed the album and hurriedly went back to my Studio to play it, I wasn’t disappointed it was everything the cover promises soaring guitars, screechy vocals solid bass riffs and more cock than a hen house. That’s when I decided I needed to find out more about this mysterious Canadian heavy metal bodybuilding historian, and what I found out you would never had guessed. 

I turns out that JMT was a very successful athlete, As a bodybuilder, he was the first Canadian to win both the Mr. Canada and Mr. USA titles. During his bodybuilding career, he has achieved over 40 titles around the world. 

If this wasn’t weird enough As a musician, he is the front man for the heavy metal band Thor, billing himself as "The Legendary Rock Warrior". JMT started touring as front man for the band THOR in 1973. The band was first known as "Mikl Body Rock" and "Thor and the Imps" before deciding on the name THOR. He combined strength feats, props, costumes and showmanship with music such as bending solid steel bars in his teeth and having solid concrete blocks smashed off his chest with a sledgehammer. THOR toured Canada and the USA throughout the 1970s and 1980s. 

If the idea of a bodybuilding metal lord Still isn’t enough for you,  In 1986 Jon Mikl Thor retired from live performances and started to write and produce films. His career in acting amounting to starring roles in such films as Zombie Nightmare, and Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare..

So what was my next move you ask?, Well dear reader it isn’t obvious, my sole mission of the next day and a half was to track down JMT 80’s video nasties. So after some more net research believe it or not I found them (thank you eBay and Amazon) and three weeks later I had in my hot hands copies of Zombie Nightmare, Rock n Roll Night Mare and the 2005 RnR Nightmare squeal Intercessor: Another Rock 'N' Roll Nightmare.

So what were the flicks like? Well let’s start with Zombie Nightmare, after a promising opening credit sequence, featuring the strains of Motorhead's "Ace of Spades", it seems the film can do no wrong. The overall result is a film that's never as good as it wants to be and ends up falling extremely short of it's early promise. 

Our favourite steel-bending rock god thespian, Jon Mikl Thor, plays a dork in a hooded sweatshirt who becomes victim to a hit-and-run by Tia Carrere and Co. His mother calls upon the neighbourhood voodoo priestess, played by Manuska Rigaud (think Karen Black and Tina Turner's lovechild on PCP), to resurrect her dead son, so he can wreak revenge on the tire-squealing Punks. One by one, the no-good teenagers meet their end by the hands of the zombified dork in the hooded sweatshirt.

ADAM WEST IN ZOMBIE NIGHTMARE

Halfway into the film, Adam West makes a welcome appearance, playing the local police chief who may have something to do with the intricate proceedings.

For those who may ponder Adam West's involvement in such a film, allow me to put it into perspective, how many actors can say they've worked with The Three Stooges AND Jon Mikl Thor? I rest my case.

Thor went on to star in a whole another nightmare, "ROCK 'N' ROLL NIGHTMARE" In Rock n Roll Nightmare an 80's metal band go to an old house to record an album. It's possessed, and demons start killing people. In between death scenes the band rocks out. Thor himself wrote and produced the film and soundtrack. That's really all you need to know, because nothing else in the movie makes a lick of sense. The direction, acting, special effects, and script???, are absolute pieces of trash. 

That's what allows Thor's stage presence to really shine. It's really just a long music-video that has a horror story thrown in. The music is classic, if you like that style, and if you don't you shouldn't be watching it in the first place.. If you love comic books, glam metal, and mythology and your movies with more cheese than a triple cheese hamburger pizza this is the crown-jewel of entertainment. An absurd good time!!

So what about the last one you mentioned? Well let me tell you this, It's BAD. This is hallucinatorily bad. This is so much further down the scale than Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare that you'll laugh hysterically rereading all the one-star Comments on IMDb for the original-poor fools! You think this is bad? Wait till the sequel comes out twenty years later, then you'll REALLY see something that you will bring up your lunch!

 

Jon Mikl Thor 1985





Jon Mikl Thor in 2005



However If you believe, really believe, in the healing power of bad film, this is a can't-miss. No hints, no clues as to what you'll be exposed to-OK, just one: the magic scene in which Jon-Mikl, now pushing three hundred pounds, in floppy rubber armour, is attacked in a park by a SINGLE STRAND of Swedish ivy. Does he defeat it with his mighty broadsword? You'll never know till you see The Original Rock Warrior .

So there you have it Brothers and Sisters of Rock and Roll!! Hear my words!! Go forth and find these these masterpieces of trash cinema!! You too can bask in the glory of Jon Mikl Thor the inventor of Muscle-rock.

He's been around since the early seventies, He still tours and releases albums. And bands such as Manowar, Iron Maiden, Wasp, even Kiss cannot deny being influenced by him. In short, I think JMT sums it up best  when he plays Jon Triton in Rock n roll Nightmare and I quote:

You've overstepped your line again, Bub. There's a creator's highest law that keeps you in your dark place and yet you and your brethren still insist on coming into this world and trying to steal a place in the world of the living. When will you ever learn? - I think there is a little something in that for all of us really.

Hardrock Zombies

Originally appeared in obscene fanzine issue 14 2001

I brought this video tape the other day from cash converts. There were two major factors behind this random purchase firstly it was only $2 (I really couldn't go wrong even if the movie was total shit I could tape over it and it would still be cheaper than a blank tape) Secondly the title HARD ROCK ZOMBIES, fuck me if that isn't a excellent title what more could you asks for in a trashy 80's flick zombies and a hard rock band. The title you would think explained the whole film. But no, this film literally had it all.

Let me set the scene, when I sat down to watch this movie it was with my bad taste partner in crime Mark. We were partaking in what has become a bit of a ritual at Studio El Obscneito: the morning after the drinking binge movies fest, in this case it was at the tail end of 3 days straight of pure liver damage. We were sitting around in a seedy stupor when I suggested I whack the movies on as I hadn't had time yet to watch it myself. Mark was instantly aroused as I initially was by the title (being the rock demi god I that he is and horror fan) so I did.

What was to follow was to exceed even my expectations which by now if you don't know aren't really that high. You know you're on a good wicket when the establishing scene is two meat heads with mullets picking up a real hot chick hitching in the middle of nowhere. Before you know they have pulled up at a swimming hole to have a swim (please read "to root"). The trio strip naked and jump on into the water, then the chick proceeds to drown the two guys. All this is taking place while a bloke with a camera, a little mutant and a midget document the whole thing from the bushes. The murderous group drag the victims out the water and bag them up not before the psycho chick cuts of one of the dude’s hands whilst singing the Beatles song "I wanna hold your hand”. All this happening to some obscure cock rock backing track WHAT A WINNER!!

So let me recap, already in the first 5 minutes this film as featured;

·  A touch of cock rock;

·  A hot naked chick ;

·  Murder, blood and gore;

·  Dudes with mullets;

·  A mutant; and

·  A freaky midget (is there any other kind).

Okay so after this stellar intro we are introduced to heroes of this masterpiece. Enter ‘Holy Moses’ a band fully  equipped with leather, make up, spandex and really big hair rock mullets, singing an undiscovered cock classic in its entirety "shake it up" obviously to establish there cred as a real hard rock band.

So after the second establishing scene, the movie really hits its stride and we are treated/ exposed to;

·  A werewolf that looked like an Ewok on a really bad acid trip

·  A family of psychos made up of freaks and Nazis (the grandfather turns out to be Hitler in disguise)

·  Inbred country folk

·  Repeated shots of unhappy inbred country folk apparently unimpressed by the band

·  A good old record burning rally

·  Extended music clips of the band to set the scene every 15 minutes

·  Old School  American muscle cars

·  Black Magic that brings back the dead; and finally

·  Zombies.

In amongst all of this, believe it or not there is even a story line, sort of, which, according to the video jacket-goes like this;

Jesse is the teenage heart throb who leads a band about to break into the big time. Unfortunately one of the groupies happens to be a strange young woman with a lust for naked murders, and she along with her ghoulish family have developed a taste for rock signers.

Well what a buy for $2. I would bet that this film was made by fans of horror and rock n roll, because it looks like they couldn't decide on what favourite elements to put in the film so they just said Fuck it and put them all in.

Things to watch out for!!!!

1 min - have seen this video before. Wait, midgets? Nudity?  Best video ever!

6 mins – Hey is that band going to play the entire song. Friends, this is a dangerous precedent.

13 mins - Oh no, not again.

15 mins - Just keep hoping that the car will come alive and kill them all.

 
34 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!

37 mins - RANDOM ACTS OF VIOLENCE AGAINST RECORDING MEDIA!

91 mins - Take that, Hitler!

A note of warning though, unless you are a fan of bad 80's films and I mean really bad, don't attempt to watch this alone or straight for that matter. This flick should be viewed when one is slightly off kilter and in the company of friends to be truly appreciated and enjoyed. It is for this reason that Hard Rock Zombies defiantly deserves its place in the Obscene Hangover hall of Fame even if it gets there on title alone.